It is pretty much guaranteed that if I wrote about all the outstanding events that occurred while we were on the Bruce Peninsula you would never want to go there. Instead, in the spirit of possibly intrigue and definitely vagueness, there will be a medium-sized, quasichronological list of things you should know if you are going to camping-style visit Tobermory and its surrounding areas.
If you have to set up your tents in the dark, do it really fast before thousands of face-punchable moths decide your propane lantern is the coolest thing they've ever been inexplicably drawn to.
Pack a lot of Chunky soup and wake up before everyone else so you can eat it all for breakfast in an attempt to use up the rest of the propane so the lamp can't work anymore.
Take the first day there to pretty much fuck around and do nothing (nothing includes running up a >$50 tab at the bar in town and possibly seeing how much the dive shop is going to gouge you).
Be fascinated that you can buy Stella in a can at the liquor store and purchase way too many of them.
Go to sleep all drunk-like.
After some necessarily kinky help from the guy at the dive shop, get pretty naked, fit into some wetsuits, and give him like a million dollars.
"Arrange" all your diving implements into your huge backpack and hike all the way to the Grotto. (some pictures that are better than mine)
Climb down the cliff thing to the Grotto, put on all your stuff, get into the cave, freeze your ass off in the water, be way-way too bouyant in your suit, dive the underwater tunnel anyway, hold your breath for basically forever in the tunnel, hit your head on a rock real good, then miraculously make it out into the open water outside the Grotto.
Sometime after this your adrenaline will quit exploding into your body and you'll realize you cut your hand wide open on some dang zebra mussel somewhere in the tunnel.
Drag yourself up onto a big rock and bleed profusely all over it and yourself until someone snaps you out of your daze by squealing because they think they found a dead bloody guy in a wetsuit.
Have Amateis probably save your ass and bring you some water so you can drink it and also so you can wash all your nasty red people-juice off the rock.
Wrap your slice unit up, climb back up the cliff, go to the rock beach thing, and do some more diving.
Head back to the campsite, go diving again in the closer lake and find a sunken log cabin covered in fish hooks.
Cook some sausages and put them in your mouth.
Go to sleep real hard, because tomorrow your legs are not going to work like WHOA.
Since your legs don't work now from all the kicking them around underwater totally spitting in evolution's face all day yesterday, you are not going to want to go diving (not even to see exploded shipwrecks).
Go into town and try to solve the mystery of what the hell a fucking Chichimon is, where it comes from, and what kind of Pokémon food it eats, and get totally cockblocked from doing so by pretty much the whole town except one lady who sold us a cool ring, called the Chichimon a fairy boat, and said it just comes because the coast guard doesn't anymore (???).
Wonder if you can get all your empty hearts refilled on a fairy boat.
Try to get all bombed at the bar again and discover in Canada it doesn't matter if you are actually over 19 or not, because if you don't physically have your ID with you, the bar, you, and everyone you know can be fined several thousand dollars by the Fun Police.
Look at the one good art gallery in the town (out of like three or four).
Return your diving equipment because your legs are not going to work in the forseeable future and your entire group has a weird lung ailment presumably from the water.
(I'm checking out on writing this now)
Go to bed.
Get up.
Go check out Singing Sands and watch some guys try to kite surf.
Forget which order all these events happened in.
Uhhhhhhhh.
..
Buy and eat probably like two kilograms of Coffee Crisp because it's the best thing that they don't sell in the U.S. and they came out with a caramel one.
